It's that time of year. Time to drink away the painful memories of being with our families over the holiday season. This is why the placed Christmas so close to New Year's you know, to give us an excuse to drink after all that family bonding and everything that went down while the Christmas tree was still up. I only hope you didn't have to hear about your family's sexcapades like this gal did. Ungh.
Now, before you go polishing off the fifths of vodka sitting around or emptying the fridge of beer in order to ring in the New Year as loudly and obnoxious as possible, I have to ask if you've got any New Year's resolutions. Especially creative ones. Creative ones are the most fun because, let's face it, nine out of ten people have "to lose weight" at the top of their list. Which is totally cool, and that's one of my resolutions too (only I'm phrasing it as "to become more healthy" so that I won't feel like a total heifer when I go to polish off those oatmeal cookies my grandma made me for Christmas the day after New Years), but I refuse to be an adult about my New Years' resolutions.
And, I know you didn't ask and that you probably don't care, but I'm sharing some of my resolutions with you anyway.
Resolution 1: To give up red meat.
Because, obviously, I'm insane and like an impossible task. I mean, I only live in Kentucky. Cows and chicken. That's what we eat here. My mother lives on a farm, for Pete's sake. And I have devoured many of the cows on that farm in the form of cheeseburgers and steaks over the years. I'm not saying that they weren't delicious, but, I don't know. I just end up feeling gross and greasy after eating burgers. I ate a Bacon Deluxe from Wendy's tonight for dinner. And while it was yummy, I don't think I'm going to miss it. I may slowly give up all meat and become a vegetarian. Except for chicken and turkey. Hey, it's not my fault that they're so damn tasty.
Resolution 2: To live out all of Taylor Swift's songs.
Just try and tell me that won't be fun. And I've already lived out all those unrequited love songs so, really, I'm halfway done. "Love Song" shouldn't be too difficult since, you know, I was an English major and can at least get my Shakespeare plays and Hawthorne stories straight, dammit.
Resolution 3: To get healthy.
The 30 Day Shred... which might end up killing me. Shit. 30 Day Shred+no red meat+cereal and fruit for lunch at work (which I will have no problem with because I LOVE cereal)=healthy. It's not much of a game plan, but when it comes to stuff like this, too much of a game plan will end up with me lying on the floor eating Cheetos at 3 in the morning and incoherently mumbling things about peppermint ice cream.
Mmm... Cheetos. I would probably give up a first born for some Cheetos right now. The puffy ones...with the artificial cheese bits that stick to the tips of your fingers. Why do I find those things so yummy? It sounds fucking disgusting.
Resolution 4: To see Hanson four more times in concert.
10 concerts by 2010. I've seen them 6 times live since October 12, 2000. And I'm so excited about how easily "10 in 2010" rolls off the tongue that I can't help but want to make this dream come true.
Resolution 5: To finish writing at least one more novel in 2010.
I've got 3 started. Surely to God I can finish one of those. Preferably "Always on the Run" since the first in the series, "Always the Last to Know", will be on e-bookshelves within a couple weeks. And, don't worry, I'll let you know when it's available to purchase. Trust me, you will know a million times and again. You will know so many times that other things that you know will fall out of your head and the only thing you will know is that your main goal in life is to buy my book.
Did I mention that I'm a shameless-plug whore? No?
Resolution 6: To try and save some friggin' money.
This one is almost laughable. I am the worst person with money. Ever. But I'm planning a trip to Europe in 2011 and I need to lose several, SEVERAL pounds to donate eggs so, really, being a frugal bitch is the only way I'm going to be able to finance that trip.
Yes, I really did look into donating eggs. You can make between $2,500 and $5000 for that. That would finance a trip to Europe. Hell, that's a fourth of my student loan bill, you guys. And there could be worse things than a Mini-Me running around the Earth and constantly bumping her head or stubbing her toes on things. But, alas, you have to be in a "healthy weight range" to donate eggs, which I am not. Largely in part to the aforementioned Cheetos. Oh, and because I'm really fucking lazy.
All right, it's your guys' turns. What are you resolutions?
Oh, and Happy New Year beautifuls!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
liquid bar.
Needing a fancy night out, Amber and I went to a fairly new club here in the BG called Fluid. Yes, Fluid because, you know, one word club names are oh-so-hip. This place though? I... I'm still having trouble trying to process it all. I think the best way is to share a text conversation I had with Jenn, whose roommate wants to go there. I strongly advise that they seek alternate plans because that place was just ridic.
Yes, it was so absurd, that I don't even give it the full spelling of ridiculous. I save full spellings for places that don't make me think that I'm tripping balls.
Me: My mouth is completely agape. No way can a place exist that is this ridic.
Jenn: Is it the classy females?
Me: First off, I am the tallest person here. Secondly, "Single Ladies" just started and 95% of the bar just cheered. I feel like I'm at a gay prom.
...
Me: I don't think anyone is going to believe me about this place. It is very real. Unfortunately.
Jenn: God sent you there for a reason tonight. You must tell your story. There will be many non-believers. But you must tell your story!
Me: I don't think God has anything to do with this place.
It's true about the tall thing. There were several instances when I looked around and was the tallest person there. Let the records show that I am only 5'6. That just isn't right. There was also a gentleman by the name of Creepy McCreeperson (although that's probably not what is on his birth certificate), a girl lacking underwear (she got low during "Low" and I saw more than I bargained for... also, she and her boyfriend were pretty much going at it at one point), and a group of guys from Colorado that had their spokesman come over to ask us if it was a gay bar. In his defense, the people there seemed very excited when a Lady Gaga song came on.
But, the height thing. Being in a room full of dudes where I'm the tallest one is my nightmare. Not that it matters since I'm like Mia before the makeover in The Princess Diaries.
"Somebody sat on me again"
- Mia, The Princess Diaries
Oh! And I saw a guido! Not being Italian-American or on Jersey Shore probably means I shouldn't use that term but I was just so damn giddy.
Yes, it was so absurd, that I don't even give it the full spelling of ridiculous. I save full spellings for places that don't make me think that I'm tripping balls.
Me: My mouth is completely agape. No way can a place exist that is this ridic.
Jenn: Is it the classy females?
Me: First off, I am the tallest person here. Secondly, "Single Ladies" just started and 95% of the bar just cheered. I feel like I'm at a gay prom.
...
Me: I don't think anyone is going to believe me about this place. It is very real. Unfortunately.
Jenn: God sent you there for a reason tonight. You must tell your story. There will be many non-believers. But you must tell your story!
Me: I don't think God has anything to do with this place.
It's true about the tall thing. There were several instances when I looked around and was the tallest person there. Let the records show that I am only 5'6. That just isn't right. There was also a gentleman by the name of Creepy McCreeperson (although that's probably not what is on his birth certificate), a girl lacking underwear (she got low during "Low" and I saw more than I bargained for... also, she and her boyfriend were pretty much going at it at one point), and a group of guys from Colorado that had their spokesman come over to ask us if it was a gay bar. In his defense, the people there seemed very excited when a Lady Gaga song came on.
But, the height thing. Being in a room full of dudes where I'm the tallest one is my nightmare. Not that it matters since I'm like Mia before the makeover in The Princess Diaries.
"Somebody sat on me again"- Mia, The Princess Diaries
Oh! And I saw a guido! Not being Italian-American or on Jersey Shore probably means I shouldn't use that term but I was just so damn giddy.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
heart songs.
I talked about the Weezer song "Heart Songs" and applied it to my movies ages ago in a blog entry that is right here. I said that someday, oh someday, I was going to post an entry of my actual heart songs. Since I can't think of a damn thing to write about, I'm going with that. Plus, Meagan and I were discussing our favorite songs at the bar the other night (I almost put "the other day" but decided against it since "day" makes me sound like an alcoholic. And I'm not an alcoholic, even if I'm getting through this week just because I know Friday is going to be a boozy good time.)
So, yeah. Heart songs. Here are mine:
1 - "Ain't No Sunshine", Bill Withers
This is in my top five favorite songs list, as well as in my heart songs list because you can have favorite songs and then you can have songs that speak to you and I swear that made sense when I was drinking over the weekend.
Anyway, "Ain't No Sunshine" is just an amazing song. A guy I had crushed on hardcore in high school (and middle school and elementary school.... hey, don't call me a quitter) used to sing this song. I remember clearly hearing him sing it one day as he was standing behind me in the ala carte line in the lunchroom. I didn't know the song, and his voice was far less than superb, but I liked it okay. Then I forgot about it. Until I heard a professional cover of the song by my boys. And it all clicked and, if it had been around then, I would have totally went "OMG!"
While I love my boys singing this song (as well as The Watson Twins... they done a beautiful cover of this song when I saw them opening for Ben Kweller in Nashville. If you haven't heard The Watson Twins, then your ears are missing out), Bill Withers' original version of the song will always be the one I hold the most dear.
2 - "Runaway Run", Hanson
This is what I was talking about earlier. I love this song, I think it's a fantastic song, but it's not in my top five favorites, but this song just makes me feel. And I know that sounds real hippy-dippy like (yeah, hippy-dippy), but I don't know how else to say it. It's not Hanson's best song (all those snickering and mumbling things about MMMBop, you can just shut your dirty mouth), but it's just one that I connect with. Connect with so much, that I considered getting various lyrics and/or sheet music from the song tattooed on me somewhere. In case my mother ever reads this: No Mom, I do not have Hanson lyrics tattooed anywhere on my person. My real love for this song just exploded all over the place after hearing a live acoustic version of the song.
3 - "Wild World", Cat Stevens
I guess this is where my hippy-dippyness (or is it dippiness? or something less stupid?) really comes into play because, really, Cat Stevens? It's kind of like "Runaway Run" and somehow manages to make whatever is going on make sense.
4 - "Have a Little Faith in Me", John Hiatt
This song tears at me and I have no real idea why. Every time I hear it, I just want to cry. And I know that makes no sense and I never have cried while listening to it (because I was raised believing that crying is a sign of weakness, which is total bull, but whatever, it takes a lot to make me cry... unless I'm menstrual, and then just thinking about that scene in The Notebook where Old Allie is looking out over the lake and says "I've never seen anything so beautiful", then Old Noah, who is looking at Old Allie, replies, "Neither have I." It kills me every time... which has only been, like, five times because, even though I own that movie, I never watch it because it makes me cry like a newborn with diaper rash), but the song hits me. Every.Single.Time. And I just want to bawl.
By the way, I hate that I referenced babies in my blog.
5 - Jump in the Line, Harry Belafonte
A song doesn't have to make you think or cause you to soul-search. It can just make you happy as hell and want to dance like you're drunk. And "Jump in the Line" does that. I just pray that no one ever sees me dancing to this song. It's real embarrassing. Like, "Someone-could-videotape-it-send-it-in-to-America's-Funniest-Home-videos-and-win-$10,000" embarrassing. But I think it's important to have a song that makes you turn loose like a wild goose. (If anyone knows what song that's from off the top of their head, I'll give you an invisible gold star for the day.)
That's it for today, but I want to throw in a few other noteworthy heart songs that are just as important as the ones above, but I didn't think of before I got too lazy.
Fernado, ABBA
Don't judge me. My inner gay man LOVES this song.
Thirteen, Big Star
This song is just fabulous and, unless you persuade me with your superior wit or humanitarianism, I judge you for not liking the song.
Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Barry White
It makes me happy. Simple enough.
Dust on the Bottle, David Lee Murphy
The songs takes me back to my roots. And the days of going to Brew Co and hearing Brent and Anthony play it.
Islands in the Stream, Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers
Only because it's my dream Karaoke duet. And your dream Karaoke duet is a default heart song.
So, yeah. Heart songs. Here are mine:
1 - "Ain't No Sunshine", Bill Withers
This is in my top five favorite songs list, as well as in my heart songs list because you can have favorite songs and then you can have songs that speak to you and I swear that made sense when I was drinking over the weekend.
Anyway, "Ain't No Sunshine" is just an amazing song. A guy I had crushed on hardcore in high school (and middle school and elementary school.... hey, don't call me a quitter) used to sing this song. I remember clearly hearing him sing it one day as he was standing behind me in the ala carte line in the lunchroom. I didn't know the song, and his voice was far less than superb, but I liked it okay. Then I forgot about it. Until I heard a professional cover of the song by my boys. And it all clicked and, if it had been around then, I would have totally went "OMG!"
While I love my boys singing this song (as well as The Watson Twins... they done a beautiful cover of this song when I saw them opening for Ben Kweller in Nashville. If you haven't heard The Watson Twins, then your ears are missing out), Bill Withers' original version of the song will always be the one I hold the most dear.
2 - "Runaway Run", Hanson
This is what I was talking about earlier. I love this song, I think it's a fantastic song, but it's not in my top five favorites, but this song just makes me feel. And I know that sounds real hippy-dippy like (yeah, hippy-dippy), but I don't know how else to say it. It's not Hanson's best song (all those snickering and mumbling things about MMMBop, you can just shut your dirty mouth), but it's just one that I connect with. Connect with so much, that I considered getting various lyrics and/or sheet music from the song tattooed on me somewhere. In case my mother ever reads this: No Mom, I do not have Hanson lyrics tattooed anywhere on my person. My real love for this song just exploded all over the place after hearing a live acoustic version of the song.
3 - "Wild World", Cat Stevens
I guess this is where my hippy-dippyness (or is it dippiness? or something less stupid?) really comes into play because, really, Cat Stevens? It's kind of like "Runaway Run" and somehow manages to make whatever is going on make sense.
4 - "Have a Little Faith in Me", John Hiatt
This song tears at me and I have no real idea why. Every time I hear it, I just want to cry. And I know that makes no sense and I never have cried while listening to it (because I was raised believing that crying is a sign of weakness, which is total bull, but whatever, it takes a lot to make me cry... unless I'm menstrual, and then just thinking about that scene in The Notebook where Old Allie is looking out over the lake and says "I've never seen anything so beautiful", then Old Noah, who is looking at Old Allie, replies, "Neither have I." It kills me every time... which has only been, like, five times because, even though I own that movie, I never watch it because it makes me cry like a newborn with diaper rash), but the song hits me. Every.Single.Time. And I just want to bawl.
By the way, I hate that I referenced babies in my blog.
5 - Jump in the Line, Harry Belafonte
A song doesn't have to make you think or cause you to soul-search. It can just make you happy as hell and want to dance like you're drunk. And "Jump in the Line" does that. I just pray that no one ever sees me dancing to this song. It's real embarrassing. Like, "Someone-could-videotape-it-send-it-in-to-America's-Funniest-Home-videos-and-win-$10,000" embarrassing. But I think it's important to have a song that makes you turn loose like a wild goose. (If anyone knows what song that's from off the top of their head, I'll give you an invisible gold star for the day.)
That's it for today, but I want to throw in a few other noteworthy heart songs that are just as important as the ones above, but I didn't think of before I got too lazy.
Fernado, ABBA
Don't judge me. My inner gay man LOVES this song.
Thirteen, Big Star
This song is just fabulous and, unless you persuade me with your superior wit or humanitarianism, I judge you for not liking the song.
Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Barry White
It makes me happy. Simple enough.
Dust on the Bottle, David Lee Murphy
The songs takes me back to my roots. And the days of going to Brew Co and hearing Brent and Anthony play it.
Islands in the Stream, Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers
Only because it's my dream Karaoke duet. And your dream Karaoke duet is a default heart song.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
happy holidays... buy me something shiny!
Sorry for the serious hiatus. NaNoWriMo was vicious this year. And I barely finished the bloody thing, only to discover today that Meg Cabot's NaNoWriMo project (which is her next novel release) is super duper similar to my NaNo idea. I had a mini-fit since, you know, she's already published and everything, and I really thought that my NaNo idea might be my key. Granted, it needs a ton of work. Like, a complete rewriting and, you know, an actual plot. I'm annoyed that Meg Cabot and I had a very similar story, but kind of excited that our brains were working that much in sync since, you know, she's my author crush and everything.
But, I'm back now, and with a blog idea that I've been waiting to write since early November. Here it goes...
First off, I love Christmas. Don't get me wrong, Halloween is totally my favorite holiday, but I love the Christmas spirit that everyone gets into, even Sam Elliot as the apple farming father in Prancer. By the way, my mom has a total thing for Sam Elliot. I don't understand it. She says it's his voice. Ditto Kevin Costner. I've stopped asking questions at this point. I just don't understand. But, who I am to say anything? I'm an old perv who can't stop staring at Taylor Lautner's naked torso every time I see a New Moon commercial.
Right, back on track. Christmas is wonderful. There's hope and joy in the air, people want to help the less fortunate, chestnuts roasting on open fires (Smoky the Bear has some problems with this), and there's an endless amount of Christmas movies on the old boob-tube. Right now, for example, I'm watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation which is, by far, the best Christmas movie of all time. Snuggled into the commercial break of all these holly-jolly movies are jewelry ads. Every kiss begins with Kay...A diamond is forever...Buy her love this holiday season...Render her speechless this Christmas with this jeweled necklace with a five-digit price tag...
It's ridiculous. I don't know, maybe it isn't so crazy. I'm not one of those jewelry kind of gals. Save for my Tiffany&Co ring (which is a souvenir from New York and, hello, it's fucking Tiffany&Co... it's part of American pop culture; I HAD to get a piece of jewelry from there). Hell, I'm barely one of those brand name girls. With the exception of Steve Madden shoes but, honestly, how can I not be expected to love Steve Madden shoes when they look delicious as this?
Seriously, I just want to gobble them up.
I just don't get it. Are the bulk of the American women really like the ones in the jewelry commercials? They get all giggly and... stupid. I get that some of the rings in the commercials could be engagement rings and those reactions are acceptable. But the rest of them? No way. Those gifts aren't thought out. That's (expensive) shit you buy the day before Christmas that require just the minimum amount of thought, not even checking to make sure that the diamonds are blood-free.
But maybe I'm just a cynic. I'd rather have a cheap or handmade gift that means something to me instead of a generic necklace that costs a few thousand dollars. And I get that some guys aren't creative or whatever but, for Heaven's sakes boys, try. Unless you're with a girl who does like jewelry. Which I guess all those girls in commercials do. But still. Those commercials are setting the wrong examples and I do not approve.
At the same time, I don't know why I'm bitching about what couples give one another since I'm single.
...
Glad to be back blogging.
But, I'm back now, and with a blog idea that I've been waiting to write since early November. Here it goes...
First off, I love Christmas. Don't get me wrong, Halloween is totally my favorite holiday, but I love the Christmas spirit that everyone gets into, even Sam Elliot as the apple farming father in Prancer. By the way, my mom has a total thing for Sam Elliot. I don't understand it. She says it's his voice. Ditto Kevin Costner. I've stopped asking questions at this point. I just don't understand. But, who I am to say anything? I'm an old perv who can't stop staring at Taylor Lautner's naked torso every time I see a New Moon commercial.
Right, back on track. Christmas is wonderful. There's hope and joy in the air, people want to help the less fortunate, chestnuts roasting on open fires (Smoky the Bear has some problems with this), and there's an endless amount of Christmas movies on the old boob-tube. Right now, for example, I'm watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation which is, by far, the best Christmas movie of all time. Snuggled into the commercial break of all these holly-jolly movies are jewelry ads. Every kiss begins with Kay...A diamond is forever...Buy her love this holiday season...Render her speechless this Christmas with this jeweled necklace with a five-digit price tag...
It's ridiculous. I don't know, maybe it isn't so crazy. I'm not one of those jewelry kind of gals. Save for my Tiffany&Co ring (which is a souvenir from New York and, hello, it's fucking Tiffany&Co... it's part of American pop culture; I HAD to get a piece of jewelry from there). Hell, I'm barely one of those brand name girls. With the exception of Steve Madden shoes but, honestly, how can I not be expected to love Steve Madden shoes when they look delicious as this?
Seriously, I just want to gobble them up.I just don't get it. Are the bulk of the American women really like the ones in the jewelry commercials? They get all giggly and... stupid. I get that some of the rings in the commercials could be engagement rings and those reactions are acceptable. But the rest of them? No way. Those gifts aren't thought out. That's (expensive) shit you buy the day before Christmas that require just the minimum amount of thought, not even checking to make sure that the diamonds are blood-free.
But maybe I'm just a cynic. I'd rather have a cheap or handmade gift that means something to me instead of a generic necklace that costs a few thousand dollars. And I get that some guys aren't creative or whatever but, for Heaven's sakes boys, try. Unless you're with a girl who does like jewelry. Which I guess all those girls in commercials do. But still. Those commercials are setting the wrong examples and I do not approve.
At the same time, I don't know why I'm bitching about what couples give one another since I'm single.
...
Glad to be back blogging.
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