jon and kate plus eight minus john plus a lot of child support

First off, don't judge me.

Yes, I think it is important to ask this of you before I even start this post. What I am getting ready to discuss is something I am neither proud or ashamed to admit. It is with a heavy heart (and the fact that the people I'm around are probably sick of hearing me talk about it) that I am telling you, the reader of this blog.

There is at least one reader here, right? That little counter on this page is telling me that it's more than just me checking this blog out.

Paranoia aside, I am OBSESSED with the drama that is unfolding around Jon and Kate Plus Eight. I have always loved this show because 1) the kids are adorable and 2) Kate is a bitch and, while I feel bad for John, I don't want her to stop being a bitch to him because it's just too amusing.

Yes, I am so selfish that I want Kate to be mean to her husband so much that he has to allegedly go out to seek companionship with another woman, thus ruining his marriage to Kate. Which, really, I'm surprised that he had to balls to cheat on Kate. I don't even live in the same state with her and I'm afraid of the woman. I can't imagine the fury that has been unleashed since this discovery... has anyone seen Jon in the past 24 hours? She didn't dig a hole in their basement and chuck him in there a la Silence of the Lambs, did she?

It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

- Buffalo Bill, Silence of the Lambs

And, speaking of Silence of the Lambs, does it bother anyone else that Anthony Hopkins (who, you know, played Hannibal Lector) done the voice of the narrator in Ron Howard's version of Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas? I mean, I get that Anthony Hopkins is a very talented actor who has portrayed many roles but, come on. It's like a psychological word-association test. When I say Anthony Hopkins, you say either Hannibal, cannibal, Silence of the Lambs, or fava beans. You just can't help it. And, personally, I don't want to think of Hannibal Lector cooking up some census man's liver while I'm watching Jim Carrey parade around in a green furry suit. Or when I'm watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas either.