1 - This is what it's supposed to look like once it's finished:
Now, isn't that nice? You know what's especially nice? That WalMart doesn't take into consideration the fact that not everyone has all that open space around their toilet that's shown in the picture. Yes, this will come back later.2 - I got all my supplies in order:
- the contents of the box, screwdriver, and an actual hammer that replaced the Dream Hammer... which, for those of you not living in my apartment, is a dream dictionary that we used as a hammer up until a few months ago when a real hammer was purchased
- the first season of Psych playing on the telly. Shawn Spencer = love. And, as a random aside, the writers of this show replied to me on Twitter today. Granted, I replied to one of their tweets first, but still. It was very nice of them to acknowledge me. I should have tweeted them asking for a writing job with them.
- my Rosie the Riveter persona. Maybe I can go by Crystal the Carpenter?3 - Decided that having a wee little drink beforehand was a good idea. And Meagan had made black cherry jello shots (using black cherry vodka, no less) last night. They. Are. AWESOME.
- plus, I assumed that I would injure myself in some fashion and alcohol would make it not hurt as bad.4 - Began assembling the bottom half of the shelf. Turns out that I only needed to use one of those bars in the middle. The directions didn't clarify that until I went to put the support bar at the bottom and didn't have one.
5 - About people not having wide open bathrooms in that earlier step? Yeah, we don't have one of those which made getting that bottom support bar on really fucking difficult.
- I ended up taking the top off the commode and removing something from the bowl to attach the bar to the shelf.6 - The top half of the shelf is getting started. Now, I ask you, isn't that a handsome top part of a bathroom shelf?
- The answer is yes, yes it is.7 - Still annoyed with the bottom bar (and WalMart, in general) that goes behind the toilet. Decide to take another jello shot.
8 - Then decide to have a mini-dance party because I'm sure that's how the professionals do it.
9 - Emmy then decided that she needed to guard the back panel from the forces of evil.
- In LOLCat speak, she iz duin it rite.10 - But all that guarding made her really sleepy...
11 - The top half of the bathroom shelf in it's completion! It only took me two full episodes of Psych to complete. You see, in my world, I measure time by TV shows. A summer work day, for example, is 14 episodes of Friends.
12 - The bathroom shelf done and actually standing up in the bathroom!
- The hardest part to put together was this little strappy thing at the top that goes into the shelf and also into the wall so that the shelf won't fall in on you while you're doing your business. That seriously took me more time than I care to admit installing. Plus, I was in one of the rickety kitchen chairs and, you know, I'm not tiny by any means. I was certain that the chair was going to give way and I was going to fall, hit my head on the vanity, and have Meagan find me the next day bleeding from the head and not knowing my own name. I was equally afraid of all that happening only, instead of having amnesia, I was afraid that I would wake up dead.
13 - I was so proud of my work and not hurting myself in any way, shape, or form, that I decided to treat myself with one last jello shot.
And that, bloggers, is how you put a bathroom shelf together.
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