potty mouth

I'm conflicted in writing this entry because it's just out of my comfort zone to talk about, but I think that this is a topic that needs to be addressed. Not necessarily political or controversial, but important and opinions vary from person to person.

What I'm talking about is conversing in the restroom.

I will go ahead and say that I am opposed to talking to people while they or myself are taking care of business. And I don't know whether I admire or judge the people who have no problem chit-chatting while in the loo.

Those who are for it say, "Well, we all use the restroom. May as well be friendly about." (Okay, I don't know anyone who would actually say those words exactly, but just go with it.) And I'm not even going to get started on people going into a one-toilet bathroom together. I don't care how long you've been friends, that restroom at Tidball's barely fits one person comfortably. The thought of two people in there at once is just gross.

Honestly, I don't know how guys handle urinals, all out there in the open and so close to each other. No way in Hell. I would pity them but they get to pee standing up which makes me not feel sorry for them at all.

Back to the whole "Conversating-while-Urinating" discussion. Some debate that they don't like talking to people in the bathroom who are in the bathroom with them but having a phone conversation is okay.

NEWSFLASH: It isn't okay. Trust me, as a person being on the other end of the receiver when the person I'm talking to is answering Nature's call, there is nothing okay with being able to hear what you're doing long distance.

Especially when you feel the need to discuss it with me in horrific graphic detail. Not that anyone in my family does this, especially not my sweet little practically-chain-smoking grandmother. She would never talk about her and her boyfriend's bathroom adventures to her granddaughter... for long periods of time... almost every time I talk to her.

Nothing against my grandma, of course. She's an awesome lady. She just likes sharing the details of her life with me. Which I guess is kind of nice. Disgusting, but nice.

In the writing of all this, which I find embarrassing to even blog about, I can't help but think about Elliot Reid from Scrubs, the self-described "nervous pooer". So, you know what? This horrible blog entry is dedicated to you, Elliot. Congratulations.