Jessica, who I'm going to New York with, has informed me that Anne Hathaway is performing in Twelfth Night at Shakespeare in the Park while we'll be in town.
I hate Shakespeare. I don't know if it's the fact that all of those plays got crammed down my throat in high school, or if it's because that Shakespeare gets all the credit for all those things that he didn't write or what, but Shakespeare in the Park is a staple of New York culture.
And I really want to be friends with Anne Hathaway. Plus, she was in The Princess Diaries with Robert Schwartzman and, if you guys have read at least two of my blog entries, then you know that my love for Robert Schwartzman is as deep as the Mariana Trench. I'm sure that Anne and Rob still keep in contact. I mean, they both seem like really nice people who would keep the other's number in their Blackberries (Is that how the plural of Blackberry devices is spelled? Or should it be 'Blackberrys'? I don't know if it's different for fruit versus phone). And, if she really was my BFF, she would cleary see that Rob and I should be together and would be like, "Crystal. Here's Rob's number. Please call him immediately. You are clearly his lobster. Go to him now."
Look at how cute we would be together!I definitely didn't Photoshop my face onto some other person's body in that picture. I would never do such a pathetic thing. Again. For the fiftieth time. And put my face on people who have nicer hair than me.
And if, God forbid, Rob and I don't work out (how could we not? I mean, look at us! We're adorable together), then Anne would be like, "Don't worry, girl. I've worked with Chris Pine, Adrian Grenier, and Chris Pratt. They'd all be perfect for you." Then we would put together our best date outfits and borrow each others necklaces and earrings because I know that everyone, even Anne Hathaway, wants to borrow the naked angel earrings I got this weekend at a yard sale.
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