Crystal, You Dumbass, Don't Buy That!

I won a t-shirt, I won a t-shirt....

I will be ballin' in this shirt, you can't even deny it.

How did I win this shirt? Because I've been stalking Psych_USA's Twitter page for the past two days. I swear, I love free stuff so much. And, from the way it looks, I better start embracing the life of a freegan.

Okay, maybe not an actual freegan, because diving in dumpsters is icky, but I'll definitely stop buying tons of new clothes and Steve Madden shoes. Because I have to start paying $242 a month toward my student loans.

Eep.

I honestly have no idea how I'm going to do this. I'm going to start by making out a budget. Or, really, a "Crystal, You Dumbass, Don't Buy That!" List.

First thing on the CYDDBT! List is breakfast from Java City. Do I need a muffin and a Diet Pepsi? Don't those things totally rule each other out? Instead, I will actually get up when my alarm goes off, or at least closer to time it goes off, and will eat something at home. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and I've read in various places, not just in Cosmo, that people who eat breakfast are generally thinner. I like being thinner. Or, I think I would like to be thinner. Never having been a thin person, I don't know what that would feel like.

Secondly, I will stop eating out so much. Crickey. That shit adds up real quick. I will still eat out occasionally because I really can't fend for myself in the kitchen outside of the realm of frozen dinners and spaghetti. But it's definitely going to have to slow up. And this way I will lose weight from not eating greasy cheeseburgers and munching on Lean Cuisines instead.

Craft supplies. Just... no. When you have an under-the-bed container full overflowing with stuff, it's time to stop. This is so ridiculous that I can't even make fun of it.

Number four is clothes. I have plenty of cute clothes. There is no need for me to go buy a new shirt for every time I go out to 3 Brothers. I mean, yeah, I enjoy shopping, a lot, and buying new shirts and dresses is so much fun, but I don't need those things. I can survive plenty well with what is in my closet now.

This goes double for my stupid collection of necklaces and earrings.

I would add books to this list, but I haven't bought books for a long time because I've been too broke to go on one of my half.com sprees... and my debit card barely makes it out of those things alive. Besides, I have a good collection of books that I haven't even read yet, including two Meg Cabots (yes, there are Meg Cabot books out there that I haven't read; it shocks me too), three Jane Austens, Dracula, Fight Club, and I'm itchin' to reread the quirkiness that is Georgia Nicholson's life.

And, finally, DVDs. This is going to hurt the most because I love my stories. And I love getting a good deal on movies and have a very difficult time passing up a sale. But, really, aside from, like, five movies, there's nothing that I'm absolutely dying to own right now. I can totally do this.

You will note that this list is void of alcohol. That should be a red flag that I have a problem. But it's not. It's just that my alcohol consumption is cheaper than all of these other things. The only thing it really, really costs me is my liver. And by the time that thing goes kaput, they'll be manufacturing them and practically giving them away.

Homer Knows Best...