Sadly, none of my friends actually talk like that, but the question, however grammatically incorrect and offensive, is still there.
Why do I hate The Jonas Brothers?
The answer is simple: It's payback time.
Since I was eleven years old, my taste in music hasn't mattered. It hasn't mattered because my favorite band is Hanson, and "oh, they sing "MMMBop", what do those long-haired girls know about music?"
I have been facing prejudice since I was a wee little lassie because of my brother band. You would think that I would see the dark road The Jonas Brothers are heading down and would have pity on them. Oh, they're popular right now with their TV show and concert specials on the Disney channel, but that's going to change once their targeted demographic hits about sixteen. The JoBros will essentially fall off the map. They'll probably release a few albums and a handful of singles that will go unnoticed, except by the fans who are still sticking around because, well, that first love never really fades, does it? The band will perform at small venues and state fairs and occasionally be brought up in conversation, but only as a joke.
The same has happened with Hanson. With every album release after their first, Hanson has cause nothing more than a murmur in the music world. Oh, the albums get good reviews in obscure rock magazines, but sales aren't phenomenal and... have you heard "Great Divide" on the radio? I didn't think so. Not that radio play means a lot since most radio stations just play crap these days anyway. By the general public, Hanson isn't respected. Which is just bullshit beyond belief. Did you know that they broke their contract with their record label in order to make the music that they wanted to make?
Do you see The Jonas Brothers cutting Mickey Mouse's apron strings anytime soon? Because I sure as hell don't. And that's why I hate the comparison between Hanson and The Jonas Brothers. Hanson is a stronger group. Maybe, in ten years, I'll respect The Jonas Brothers for being talented musicians.
Right now, though? Not so much. I really don't think that they have the stones to be good musicians. And, if they do have the stones, then you best believe Disney has them in a vice grip.
My other reason for hating The Jonas Brothers? Well, it's simple really. I only have room in my heart for one brother band.
Oh, and these lyrics don't do anything for me either:
"You got moves, I've got shoes, let's go dancing
Pop and lock, battle dance against Hanson
If we lose, all the girls, they'll be laughing
Where would we be, if we couldn't dream?"
Fuck you, Jonas Brothers. Listen to how a real band does it without dropping names in a stupid ass way:
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