writing and drinking, goes together like a horse and carriage

It's been so long since I began writing a novel that I have forgotten how to.

Oh, sure. I have bits and pieces to five stories and one self-help book jotted down in notebooks and saved to Word files, but I don't have an actual start to any of them. And I started writing Always the Last to Know over two years ago.

My God, did I really spend over two years writing a book? I have GOT to get a boyfriend.

I'm a writer and I don't even know my own writing process! Do other people who write have this problem? I thought that my writing process was writing little snippets then throwing it all together later (which, admittedly, isn't much of a process) but, as it turns out, all I'm able to do is write snippets, freak out over the fact that I don't know how to turn them into a story, and then take to my blog that, like, five people read (please, God, tell me at least five people read this... if not, I'm going to the next step of writing and down those jell-o shots in the fridge this instant).

The story in question is the sequel to Always the Last to Know. I would really love to start writing my NaNoWriMo since I already have the first chapter outlined so in-depth that it's practically cheating, but since I can't start that until November 1, and since I haven't figured out what paranormal angle to take for another story or two, couple with the fact that the self-help book is a collaborative project that was started ages ago by people who still don't know that they're contributing chapters, but I refuse to give up on the idea, and the other story may fall apart since I don't even know if police can do that.

I probably wouldn't freak out about this as much if I had just read On Writing and Bird by Bird like I was supposed to for one of my undergrad classes. The purpose of those reading assignments is clear, now that I want to drown my woes in congealed liquor.

Oh well, at least I have my songwriting career to fall back on. Expect to hear "The Boy at the Peddler's Mall" on the radio next month. Until then, enjoy this little ditty by She & Him entitled "I Was Made for You":