the cutest shoes in the world.

I need a more interesting life. If not for myself, then for my blog.

Talk about a new low.

Seriously though, my life in the past few weeks has centered primarily around work and piecing together my Halloween costume. Oh, and trying to lose weight so that I don't look like a total heifer in my costume. Which, let me just share a little tale with y'all about Halloween costume sizing.

I got this cute little number at WalMart for my real Halloween costume (Marie Antoinette):



I got this at Goodwill for my work Halloween costume (Lucy):


They are (allegedly) the same size: 20.

Now, maybe I'm a little loco, but I think it's ridiculous that the Goodwill dress swallows me whole while I can barely breathe in the outfit from WalMart. Actually, when I do breathe in the one from WalMart the strings holding together the "corset" back rip a little. I'm still trying to figure out a way to prevent that from becoming a problem on Halloween after I've consumed a drink or seven. I solved the problem of the see-through too-short skirt by tracking down a slip and turning a pair of white leggings into faux-pantaloons.

I just want to know what in the hell type of measuring system the Halloween costume designers were using when sizing these costumes. I feel as if the dress from Goodwill is the correct size. At least, it's a lot damn closer than the costume from WalMart.

Oh, by the way, please ignore the avalanche of clothes in those pictures. I haven't done a respectable amount of laundry for a length of time that I'd rather not discuss. Also, let's not talk about how much time/money/energy I have exhausted in WalMart this Halloween season; it is, in the tradition of All Hallow's Eve, truly terrifying.

One thing WalMart didn't help me create (well, okay, I got the spray from there, and the bows came from the ugly tights in my Marie Antoinette costume, but the shoes are Kenneth Cole and the idea was all mine so, suck it, Walton) are my Marie Antoinette shoes that I want to wear everyday. Seriously, I want to wear them all the time. They are *that* cute. And, if you don't think so, then, in the words of Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers, kindly leave.

it is a truth universally acknowledged ...

... that I have a slight obsession with dresses this year. In particular, I have an obsession with long dresses that I have to pick up ever-so-slightly when walking up the steps so as not to trip. In some cases when wearing slick shoes and under the influence of alcohol, especially when I help people finish off a pitcher purchased fifteen minutes before close, I should pick these dresses up when walking across flat surfaces so as not to fall in parking lots...

... not that I have ever done such a thing. Okay, once. But, really, the sandals I had on were really slick.

My reasoning for loving these long dresses that I have to pick up just so is simple: when I wear these dresses, I feel like a heroine in one of Jane Austen's novels.

Take the Quiz here!

Of course, what girl wouldn't want to be Elizabeth Bennet? I mean, she ends up with Darcy for crying out loud. And, fine, the only book of Jane Austen's I've read is Pride and Prejudice, though I am slowly making my way through Emma. And Sense and Sensibility is on my list as well. It's all on my summer reading list.

My summer reading list is becoming a bit of a problem since I keep finding more books that I want to read. Who would have thought that my place of employment would have a copy of The Princess Bride? I sure as hell was surprised to learn about it. I'm about 100 pages into it and highly suggest that you go pick yourself up a copy immediately. I'll probably buy a copy of it myself in the near future. I bought a new bookshelf this weekend which means that I have to buy more books to fill up said bookshelf so that it doesn't look like a loser compared to my other bookshelf.

The self-esteem of bookshelves is a very fragile thing, I'll have you know.

In other news, my cat, Emmy, moved down to Bowling Green with me this weekend. It should be interesting. She learned how to get into the bathroom cabinet today, not that I'm particularly surprised since she likes to sit on clean clothes and such whenever she's given the chance.

Emmy, circa 2004 because I'm too lazy to take a new picture of her now. She looks pretty much the same, just fatter.

And, to end this post, I'm quoting something different than a movie, though there have been many movie adaptations of this book. But, come on, it's Jane Austen. You can't use a movie quote when the book is clearly a million times better.


"I cannot fix on the hour, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun."
- Darcy, Pride and Prejudice, in response to how long he had loved Elizabeth

By the way, it's tragic that in this version of Pride and Prejudice, the guy playing Darcy is only attractive when he smiles. This is somewhat problematic since Mr. Darcy smiles, maybe, twice throughout the entire movie.

it should take you exactly four seconds to cross from here to that door... i'll give you two!

I'm going to New York in July. Now, I do want to go sightseeing and look at Times Square and Trinity Church (and, okay, I only want to see that because it was in National Treasure... shut up, I don't have a problem) and Strawberry Fields and maybe even take the Staten Island ferry out to get a decent look at the Statue of Liberty without actually having to pay anything (the Staten Island ferry is free and won't take up four hours like a visit to Lady Liberty would).

But, you know what I'm most excited about?

The shopping.

I'm a girl, whatever. But, you guys don't even understand. I live for a good deal. As I was telling my roommate the other day, growing up is no fun since I have to pay my own medical bills... and you just can't catch a co-pay on sale or 50% off surgery... unless you have it done in Mexico, that is.

But, finding an Urban Outfitters purse that retails for 80 bucks at Rugged Warehouse for $3? That's beautiful. And, I don't mean like 'perfect cloudless day with the brightest sky you've ever seen' beautiful. I'm talking about 'there's a rainbow pouring down only purple Skittles and the boy you've crushed on forever finally admits his undying love for you while you find your latest novel has reached number one on the New York Times bestseller list and five production companies are fighting for the rights to make said book into a movie' beautiful.

Obviously I am a material girl living in a material world with rose-colored glasses on...

... but you can bet your sweet ass I got those rose-colored glasses on sale.

All right, I had a real point to this post.

Because I've never been to New York before, I don't know where to go for bargain shopping. This is where Google comes in. It is also where I lose what little faith I had left in Google. When I put "bargain shopping in new york" in the search engine, do you know what result I get?

KMart.

I am not even kidding you guys. KMart.

And I don't want to hate. But, seriously. KMart? What the hell? I didn't type "crappy shopping in Kentucky" in the search engine.

I'm so using Yahoo! from now on.

Holly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul: The mean reds? You mean like the blues?
Holly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
Paul: Sure.
Holly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!
- Breakfast at Tiffany's

I totally plan to get some of those sunglasses, a black dress, and a Danish and recreate this photo while I'm in New York despite the fact that I look nothing like Audrey Hepburn. Dammit.