my brain on nanowrimo.

Remember those anti-drug commercials from back in the day with the egg being thrown against the wall to represent your brain on drugs.

That same commercial could work for NaNoWriMo participants.

My brain is yolk running out my ears right now. And it's only Day One.

So, since I can't think to write properly, here's my Halloween costume. Ignore the double chin. Also, because I look like a major fatty in my costume, you're only seeing a headshot. Oh, and a picture of my neck because the blood looked AWESOME. And, actually, I'm really proud of all my makeup, even if it did end up all cakey.

Okay, enough writing. I was a decapitated Marie Antoinette. Later on. By the way, expect my posts from the rest of the month to be like this.




I for real didn't halfass it this Halloween season.

the cutest shoes in the world.

I need a more interesting life. If not for myself, then for my blog.

Talk about a new low.

Seriously though, my life in the past few weeks has centered primarily around work and piecing together my Halloween costume. Oh, and trying to lose weight so that I don't look like a total heifer in my costume. Which, let me just share a little tale with y'all about Halloween costume sizing.

I got this cute little number at WalMart for my real Halloween costume (Marie Antoinette):



I got this at Goodwill for my work Halloween costume (Lucy):


They are (allegedly) the same size: 20.

Now, maybe I'm a little loco, but I think it's ridiculous that the Goodwill dress swallows me whole while I can barely breathe in the outfit from WalMart. Actually, when I do breathe in the one from WalMart the strings holding together the "corset" back rip a little. I'm still trying to figure out a way to prevent that from becoming a problem on Halloween after I've consumed a drink or seven. I solved the problem of the see-through too-short skirt by tracking down a slip and turning a pair of white leggings into faux-pantaloons.

I just want to know what in the hell type of measuring system the Halloween costume designers were using when sizing these costumes. I feel as if the dress from Goodwill is the correct size. At least, it's a lot damn closer than the costume from WalMart.

Oh, by the way, please ignore the avalanche of clothes in those pictures. I haven't done a respectable amount of laundry for a length of time that I'd rather not discuss. Also, let's not talk about how much time/money/energy I have exhausted in WalMart this Halloween season; it is, in the tradition of All Hallow's Eve, truly terrifying.

One thing WalMart didn't help me create (well, okay, I got the spray from there, and the bows came from the ugly tights in my Marie Antoinette costume, but the shoes are Kenneth Cole and the idea was all mine so, suck it, Walton) are my Marie Antoinette shoes that I want to wear everyday. Seriously, I want to wear them all the time. They are *that* cute. And, if you don't think so, then, in the words of Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers, kindly leave.

it's the great weight, charlie brown

You know what's sad? I rarely update this puppy. And what's odd is that I started putting together another blog that I will never update.

I might not even start it. Delete it before it gets out there because, like I told Amber, once I put it on the internet for God and everybody to see, then I actually have to stick with it. And my success rate with diets is not that stellar, which is quite obvious from my appearance. So, the weight loss blog? It's got a name and a profile, but that might be it.

Plus, I don't want you guys to know what I weigh. It's too depressing and, quite frankly, I haven't stepped on a scale in months because even I don't want to know what I weigh.

I've started eating healthier (okay, I started this on Friday and decided that Saturday and Sunday didn't really count because I was in Bardstown; things don't count in Bardstown) so, when my pants get loose, I'll step on a scale. Until then, forget it.

That's what my other blog was going to be about; my weight loss journey. But screw it. I can talk about that in here too. That way, I only have to put together one blog layout instead of two...

Not that I mind making layouts. I actually like having an excuse to dick around with PhotoPaint, even if the program is from 2000... I'm just now fully getting the hang of it.

In more fun (and major relief) news, I am 99% sure I am finished buying things for my Halloween costumes. Yes, I have two costumes since my real Halloween costume is not something I would be comfortable showing up to work in. Hell, it's not something I'm necessarily comfortable showing up anywhere in. Plus, it's itchy. So, a new costume was needed for the work party. And it's done. And my other costume is done. Now all I have to do is go get drunk.

...

Shit. NaNoWriMo starts the day after Halloween. Can I really be expected to crank out 1600+ words with a hangover?