happy holidays... buy me something shiny!

Sorry for the serious hiatus. NaNoWriMo was vicious this year. And I barely finished the bloody thing, only to discover today that Meg Cabot's NaNoWriMo project (which is her next novel release) is super duper similar to my NaNo idea. I had a mini-fit since, you know, she's already published and everything, and I really thought that my NaNo idea might be my key. Granted, it needs a ton of work. Like, a complete rewriting and, you know, an actual plot. I'm annoyed that Meg Cabot and I had a very similar story, but kind of excited that our brains were working that much in sync since, you know, she's my author crush and everything.

But, I'm back now, and with a blog idea that I've been waiting to write since early November. Here it goes...

First off, I love Christmas. Don't get me wrong, Halloween is totally my favorite holiday, but I love the Christmas spirit that everyone gets into, even Sam Elliot as the apple farming father in Prancer. By the way, my mom has a total thing for Sam Elliot. I don't understand it. She says it's his voice. Ditto Kevin Costner. I've stopped asking questions at this point. I just don't understand. But, who I am to say anything? I'm an old perv who can't stop staring at Taylor Lautner's naked torso every time I see a New Moon commercial.

Right, back on track. Christmas is wonderful. There's hope and joy in the air, people want to help the less fortunate, chestnuts roasting on open fires (Smoky the Bear has some problems with this), and there's an endless amount of Christmas movies on the old boob-tube. Right now, for example, I'm watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation which is, by far, the best Christmas movie of all time. Snuggled into the commercial break of all these holly-jolly movies are jewelry ads. Every kiss begins with Kay...A diamond is forever...Buy her love this holiday season...Render her speechless this Christmas with this jeweled necklace with a five-digit price tag...

It's ridiculous. I don't know, maybe it isn't so crazy. I'm not one of those jewelry kind of gals. Save for my Tiffany&Co ring (which is a souvenir from New York and, hello, it's fucking Tiffany&Co... it's part of American pop culture; I HAD to get a piece of jewelry from there). Hell, I'm barely one of those brand name girls. With the exception of Steve Madden shoes but, honestly, how can I not be expected to love Steve Madden shoes when they look delicious as this?

Seriously, I just want to gobble them up.

I just don't get it. Are the bulk of the American women really like the ones in the jewelry commercials? They get all giggly and... stupid. I get that some of the rings in the commercials could be engagement rings and those reactions are acceptable. But the rest of them? No way. Those gifts aren't thought out. That's (expensive) shit you buy the day before Christmas that require just the minimum amount of thought, not even checking to make sure that the diamonds are blood-free.

But maybe I'm just a cynic. I'd rather have a cheap or handmade gift that means something to me instead of a generic necklace that costs a few thousand dollars. And I get that some guys aren't creative or whatever but, for Heaven's sakes boys, try. Unless you're with a girl who does like jewelry. Which I guess all those girls in commercials do. But still. Those commercials are setting the wrong examples and I do not approve.

At the same time, I don't know why I'm bitching about what couples give one another since I'm single.

...

Glad to be back blogging.

my brain on nanowrimo.

Remember those anti-drug commercials from back in the day with the egg being thrown against the wall to represent your brain on drugs.

That same commercial could work for NaNoWriMo participants.

My brain is yolk running out my ears right now. And it's only Day One.

So, since I can't think to write properly, here's my Halloween costume. Ignore the double chin. Also, because I look like a major fatty in my costume, you're only seeing a headshot. Oh, and a picture of my neck because the blood looked AWESOME. And, actually, I'm really proud of all my makeup, even if it did end up all cakey.

Okay, enough writing. I was a decapitated Marie Antoinette. Later on. By the way, expect my posts from the rest of the month to be like this.




I for real didn't halfass it this Halloween season.

NaNoWriMo

A few years ago, Shawna introduced me to National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo, or, as I get progressively lazier throughout this entry, NaNo. I think Shawna told me about this... didn't you, Shawna?

Okay, so I don't remember how I heard about it, but I do know that Shawna and I both attempted to write a 50,000 word novel during November. That's what NaNoWriMo is. From November 1-30, you write your ass off. You turn off the phone (unplugging the phone is a thing of the past), you put a stop on your social life (since I don't have one, this doesn't present a problem for me), and you just write and curse and write some more and maybe get a little drunk once you've reached the point where you're absolutely certain you can write no more. Or, that you can write, but you are so sure that you'll never get 50,000 words cranked out during 30 days or that you will never be the next Jane Austen/Stephen King/I can't believe I just compared those two/and so on and so forth.

It's actually a pretty good time.

I didn't complete NaNo that year. I don't remember if Shawna did or not, but I do know that she won last year.

And what do you win if you complete NaNoWriMo, you ask?

Well, you win nothing. You just gain the satisfaction of writing a novel. And, sure, it may be absolute crap or not really finished, you just have the first 50,000 words, but, by God, you stuck with that story for a month. And isn't that nice feeling of not giving up better than any sort of monetary gain?

I'm going to take that silence as a 'yes'.

I'm doing NaNo again this year. This is really the first year I don't have an excuse not to. I'm not in school anymore (have I mentioned that I still haven't told my dad that I quit grad school? I'm a dead woman), I have no real social life, and, most importantly, I HAVE AN IDEA ALREADY.

Plus, Shawna is doing NaNo again and Trista said she is "thinking about it" which, to me, may as well be a signed, dated, and notarized written contract. I think it's best to have friends also doing NaNo so that you don't totally lose your mind.

And, since I'm horrible at planning and organizing stories before I start writing them, this NaNo should be an interesting one.

Seriously, I'm a fairly organized person when it comes to plans and activities and places that aren't my room (my bookshelf is excluded from this; it's damn near immaculate in its tidiness), you would think that outlining stories would be no big deal.

Wrong-o.

I fully blame my seventh grade Social Studies teacher for my hatred of outlines. She had us write detailed outlines for each chapter in our textbook. I mean, some of these outlines were six, seven, ten pages long. I do believe I had an eleven-page one at some point that year.

And perhaps I didn't say that this happened in the SEVENTH-GRADE? I didn't do that much work in 400-level college courses, for Pete's sake!

That probably should say something about my college education, huh?

If you're reading this Western, you're a great school and I love working for you. Please don't fire me for questioning the education I got there and will be paying for over the next five-thousand years.

Right, back to the point. I don't do well with outlines. I feel too constricted using them when it comes to actually writing. The only notes I have for my NaNo are what I've emailed to Shawna and Trista. In one of those email conversations Trista says that she has a six-page detailed outline done for the story she's thinking about.

I hate her a little bit.

Okay, I don't hate her. I'm just insanely jealous that she can write outlines and not be completely stifled by them. I need to be able to just write and not have any sort of agenda. Like right now, I'm just writing. I couldn't tell you what this entry is actually about...

I'll never be a 'Blog of Note' on Blogger if I keep up with these entries that make absolutely no sense, will I?

That's probably my own little cue to wrap this puppy up and come full-circle.

For more information on NaNo and how you can join the madness with me, Shawna, Trista, and many others, check out NaNoWriMo.org.

Kay: I went out... to buy cigarettes and I figured out how to kill Harold Crick.

Penny: Buying cigarettes?
Kay: As I was... when I came out of the store I... it came to me.
Penny: How?
Kay: Well, Penny, like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method.
- Stranger Than Fiction