moral dilemmas

I have decided what my moral dilemma of the year is.

Actually, I should say I've decided who my moral dilemma of the year is.

I present to you my Moral Dilemma of 2009: Mr. Taylor Lautner. He's 17. Seventeen, people. I am a gross old lady... but won't be come February 2010 when he becomes legal. I'll still feel like a gross old lady, but it will be legal for me to be a gross old lady.

Another moral dilemma, though not as bad as wanting to jump a minor's bones, is my new like of Diet Coke. I have never been a Diet Coke fan. It's always been Diet Pepsi or bust for this girl. But I'm sitting here, sipping a Diet Coke and watching Family Guy and, you know, it's not so bad. It's actually kind of fucking delicious.

The Diet Coke, not Family Guy. Family Guy is crude and hilarious, as always.

Over the past year or so, I've become sick of Diet Pepsi. You know how some people drink coffee to get them going on their work day? Well, I do that too. But with Diet Pepsi, because WKU refuses to sell Dr. Pepper on the campus, save for the overpriced convenient store. Yes, they suck. And now my taste buds are sick of Diet Pepsi, a beverage I once was sure my blood was made of.

I haven't totally sold out yet though. Diet Dr Pepper is still my number one love, but Diet Coke is tasting pretty good these days. And I hate myself for that.

But not as much as I hate myself for my third moral dilemma...

I've decided on my Halloween costume and decided that I needed to do something about my hair. I absolutely hate the cheap Halloween wigs. They smell bad, they feel weird, they're hot, and when you take them off, you have this red line across your forehead. I discovered some cheap hair extensions at Sally's and decided to try it out, just for my Halloween costume.

Oh my God. I love having hair extensions. The color is much too dark for my hair, which is intentional for my Halloween costume, but I really might invest in some good quality (read: stupidly expensive and marketed by Jessica Simpson) clip-in hair extensions.

Please don't judge me. I judge myself enough for this decision than anyone of you ever could. I just want long hair again. And anyone who knows me knows that my patience level is nonexistent. This is just a temporary solution until my hair gets the length I want it. Is that so wrong?

...

You're right. It's totally wrong. But I might just do it anyway.

hippie science experiment

"Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair.
Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth.
Oh, really, fool?
Really.
Stop looking at me, Swan!"
- Billy Madison

So, I'm not using shampoo and conditioner anymore.

Okay, before you say 'ewwwwwwww' and start making comments about my hygiene, just hear me out. And I'm not becoming a hippie and going green and vegan and all that. Not that there's anything wrong with any of that. I admire people who don't eat delicious, delicious meat. Their willpower is obviously stronger than mine. I could never give up BBQ pulled pork or chicken nuggets. Good for the people who realize that meat is finger-lickin' murder.

I had a point to this? Yes?

Oh, right. No 'poo. Seriously, that's what it's called: No 'Poo. Which is good. I mean, who wants poo in their hair? No one, unless you're seriously deranged. My hair is still getting washed, but with a baking soda and water mix, then conditioned with apple cider vinegar and water. And, no, my hair doesn't smell like vinegar. Thank God. It's still looking a bit (and by "a bit", I mean "a lot") on the oily side, but that's just my hair and scalp getting used to not being stripped of its natural self-cleaning oils.

I don't think I got the baking soda measurements right though. I need to do some more investigating. All I know is that our bathroom counter looked like a fourth-grade volcano science fair experiment gone crazy. Vinegar and baking soda, measuring cups and funnels... all that was missing was a paper-mache` volcano. And I probably could have fashioned one of those fairly easily.

I'll keep you posted on the no 'poo. And, if you see me around, don't remind me how bad I look with all my hair pulled away from my face. I'm very well aware that I look like scary.