2010. let's do this.

It's that time of year. Time to drink away the painful memories of being with our families over the holiday season. This is why the placed Christmas so close to New Year's you know, to give us an excuse to drink after all that family bonding and everything that went down while the Christmas tree was still up. I only hope you didn't have to hear about your family's sexcapades like this gal did. Ungh.

Now, before you go polishing off the fifths of vodka sitting around or emptying the fridge of beer in order to ring in the New Year as loudly and obnoxious as possible, I have to ask if you've got any New Year's resolutions. Especially creative ones. Creative ones are the most fun because, let's face it, nine out of ten people have "to lose weight" at the top of their list. Which is totally cool, and that's one of my resolutions too (only I'm phrasing it as "to become more healthy" so that I won't feel like a total heifer when I go to polish off those oatmeal cookies my grandma made me for Christmas the day after New Years), but I refuse to be an adult about my New Years' resolutions.

And, I know you didn't ask and that you probably don't care, but I'm sharing some of my resolutions with you anyway.

Resolution 1: To give up red meat.

Because, obviously, I'm insane and like an impossible task. I mean, I only live in Kentucky. Cows and chicken. That's what we eat here. My mother lives on a farm, for Pete's sake. And I have devoured many of the cows on that farm in the form of cheeseburgers and steaks over the years. I'm not saying that they weren't delicious, but, I don't know. I just end up feeling gross and greasy after eating burgers. I ate a Bacon Deluxe from Wendy's tonight for dinner. And while it was yummy, I don't think I'm going to miss it. I may slowly give up all meat and become a vegetarian. Except for chicken and turkey. Hey, it's not my fault that they're so damn tasty.

Resolution 2: To live out all of Taylor Swift's songs.

Just try and tell me that won't be fun. And I've already lived out all those unrequited love songs so, really, I'm halfway done. "Love Song" shouldn't be too difficult since, you know, I was an English major and can at least get my Shakespeare plays and Hawthorne stories straight, dammit.

Resolution 3: To get healthy.

The 30 Day Shred... which might end up killing me. Shit. 30 Day Shred+no red meat+cereal and fruit for lunch at work (which I will have no problem with because I LOVE cereal)=healthy. It's not much of a game plan, but when it comes to stuff like this, too much of a game plan will end up with me lying on the floor eating Cheetos at 3 in the morning and incoherently mumbling things about peppermint ice cream.

Mmm... Cheetos. I would probably give up a first born for some Cheetos right now. The puffy ones...with the artificial cheese bits that stick to the tips of your fingers. Why do I find those things so yummy? It sounds fucking disgusting.

Resolution 4: To see Hanson four more times in concert.

10 concerts by 2010. I've seen them 6 times live since October 12, 2000. And I'm so excited about how easily "10 in 2010" rolls off the tongue that I can't help but want to make this dream come true.

Resolution 5: To finish writing at least one more novel in 2010.

I've got 3 started. Surely to God I can finish one of those. Preferably "Always on the Run" since the first in the series, "Always the Last to Know", will be on e-bookshelves within a couple weeks. And, don't worry, I'll let you know when it's available to purchase. Trust me, you will know a million times and again. You will know so many times that other things that you know will fall out of your head and the only thing you will know is that your main goal in life is to buy my book.

Did I mention that I'm a shameless-plug whore? No?

Resolution 6: To try and save some friggin' money.

This one is almost laughable. I am the worst person with money. Ever. But I'm planning a trip to Europe in 2011 and I need to lose several, SEVERAL pounds to donate eggs so, really, being a frugal bitch is the only way I'm going to be able to finance that trip.

Yes, I really did look into donating eggs. You can make between $2,500 and $5000 for that. That would finance a trip to Europe. Hell, that's a fourth of my student loan bill, you guys. And there could be worse things than a Mini-Me running around the Earth and constantly bumping her head or stubbing her toes on things. But, alas, you have to be in a "healthy weight range" to donate eggs, which I am not. Largely in part to the aforementioned Cheetos. Oh, and because I'm really fucking lazy.

All right, it's your guys' turns. What are you resolutions?

Oh, and Happy New Year beautifuls!